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of the theatre and confi-onted an usher in the foyer. What
DISASTER AT THE REGENT
had happened to the featured fil111 I asked him. I was then
By Noel Kerr told that the film in question was being shown in the
PLAZA downstairs.

The year was 1950. The occasion was my fu·st real date No No No! I couldn't believe the mistake I had made. I
with a girl. The place was the Regent Theatre in the city should have been waiting for her in the foyer of the Plaza.
and I was as nervous as hell! I went straight down there but it was empty. They timed
the intervals so they didn't clash. I couldn't find anyone
I got to know this girl on a holiday, and even though I had to talk to and ask questions even though I bung around for
been over to her bouse on a couple of occasions on my 15 minutes or so. Then I returned to watch the rest of the
pushbike, a date in the city was real big-time and had to film at the Regent.
be planned in detail. I had ordered the tickets from 'Save
Time Service' and they had been posted to me with the I had completely lost interest in the film and decided to
bill, plus their service fee. leave and wait in the foyer of the Plaza for the crowd to
leave, in case she had gone into see the film on her own.
The mother had consented for her daughter to meet me at Wouldn't you know it the film there had finished and most
tbe theatre, as she lived on the other side of the city, but of the crowd had dispersed. She was not to be seen but I
she insisted that I take her home after the show because did manage to speak to a person who was in the ticket box
"No daughter of mine is to travel on public transport at who seemed to remember a girl waiting in the foyer for 15
that time of night!" minutes after starting time and then left. HotTors ! ! !

A nice hot shower was most welcome after seeing Fitzroy I caught the Carnegie tram to Macks Hamburgers in
defeated that afternoon. This was followed by a very de- Glenhuntly. I bought a hamburger, had a short chat to the
tailed shave and liberal quantities of'Oid Spice'. The blue owner, Connie, then walked the mile or so home munch-
reefer jacket was selected, along with bow tie and crepe- ing the hamburger, feeling as flat as my wallet.
soled shoes.
It must have been well after midnight when I strolled down
Mum wanted to know what the special occasion was. Morgan Street to my house to find it ablaze with light. I
Evening meal was over and off I went to catch the Carnegie knew something was up. I was confronted at the back door
tram to the city, feeling Liike a million dollars and nervous by my parents. It appeared that they had received a phone
as hell. call from the not very happy parents of the girl I was sup-
posed to meet.
I arrived at the theatre about half an hour before our meet-
ing time so 1 thought I'd treat myself to a malted at Ernest She bad evidently gone to the Plaza on time and waited
HiJtiers next to the theatre. Even though I always enjoyed over a half hour after the show had started, and then gave
their malted milks I always felt cheated as they never gave up, thinking as I had done, that she also had been stood
you the metal container which, at other milk bars, always up. For some reason or other she then decided to buy her-
contained another glass of drink. self a drink and then she went to the "Times Newsreel"
before discovering she didn't have enough to pay her fare
I was in position at the top of the stairs on time , and home.
waited for my date. Tin1e was ticking by and I realized
that she was 20 minutes late. The next glance at my watch She then rang home, and as her parents didn't have a car
confirmed that she was now half an hour late and the show her father told her to wait in the foyer of the Capitol and
was just starting. l felt sick in the stomach. What to do. he would catch a tram to the city with her return fare.
Feeling obvious and very worried l read the lobby cards
for the tenth time. The next half hour was spent walking It appears her parents were furious with me and told my
up and down the stairs, two visits to the toilet, and more mother that I was not to contact her daughter again. It
reading of the lobby cards. was mentioned that I had played the dirtest trick one could
play on an innocent girl and I had no fibre in my morals ...
I then faced the fact that I had been stood up on my first or something like that.
date. I left one ticket at the ticket box in her name and
reluctantly went into the theatre. Interval came and I was I did write and gave a full explanation of what had hap-
first into the foyer, but she was not to be seen. I had been pened, but I never heard from her again.
stood up! However, I was going to make the best of it and
bought a dixie at Hj((iers. Gee, I thought. This was a great start to dating. I hoped it
dido 't go this way every tin1e. At least I enjoyed the malted,
The main feature film started, and I knew something was ice cream and the hamburger.
wrong. They had put on the wrong film. This wasn't the
one that my girlfriend and l had wanted to see. I shot out Maybe next time I' ll try the church social.

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