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furnishings, they created
riots, robbed, people were
killed and no-one was
brought to book for the two
murders!

By the Sunday, the
authorities had enlisted
Special Constables from
the ranks of ex First World
War Diggers, armed them
with truncheons and set
them loose on the larrikins
who were tearing lovers of the smut which now occupies "the
Melbourne apart. They also box" and think you have heard it all, well Stiffy
brought up 200 soldiers and Mo made today's comedians sound like
In January 1947, there was a fresh meat from the Queenscliff Garrison who arrived by choir boys from my old Church at the top end
shortage, basically to get rid of millions of tons train at Flinders Street on the Sunday with of Albert Street where I took a Swallow Dive
of frozen meat, built up for World War II, so I rifles, bayonets and live ammo. in 1921.
took a break from butchering and applied for,
and got a job at Myers where I was turned into They also brought in Light Horsemen from the They weren't merely smutty, they were RED
a lift driver and boy, did that turn out to be an country, armed them with pick handles and HOT. Their jokes were crudity personified and,
interesting chapter of my life. Anyway, one of whizzed them into the City - so it will be in the finish, the complaints got so bad the
the young ladies I got to know was a store quickly seen that the hoods who had been police had no other course but to put them out
detective and she told me about the chaps who rampant in Bourke Street Canyon, were of biz. Later, when Mo was at the Tivoli, well,
would walk into a department all brisk and copping their corner and they eventually let's say he was slightly more modified. By the
business-like, pencil behind the ear, vest on, retreated to lick their wounds and get their skull way, Mo was the best comedian that we have
clipboard in hand and push out a rack full of fractures attended to - for a buff from these old ever had.
suits or frocks, costumes, jumpers, just whisk pick handles was akin to being garnished with
them away where presumably, some other a Babe Ruth Special. But across the road at Hoyts De Luxe, was a
shifty would spirit them off, for a quick sale! Melbourne icon who spawned a phrase which
still exists today: "The Man Outside Hoyts". In
Perhaps later, a man in a leather apron would this City of Melbourne, he was absolutely
accost you in Bourke Street and go into his absolute. He was an amazing person in so many
spiel. "This lovely frock young lady, fell off the facets of life and, of course, he was the world's
back of a truck and you can have it for a song best spruiker bar none.
- well perhaps a quid or whatever." And there
were lots of smart operators in leather aprons His name was Charles Fredricksen and long
with brown paper parcels in their claws in that before he became the frontman for Hoyts De
post-war era - must have been a lot of trucks Luxe, he was an outstanding rifle shot, a
with faulty doors! ventriloquist and the master of many musical
instruments. Space precludes me from
When the Victoria Police strike erupted in The very “naughty”, Stiffy and Mo in the 1920s describing this amazingly gifted man's
November 1923, it signalled an explosion in accomplishments but, when he left us in 1967,
Melbourne that has never been seen since, for An interesting snippet on Mr. Coles of Coles 'Big Charley' left an entertainment void which
it was the occasion in which a city and its Funny Picture Book fame is that he advertised has never been filled and you can bet your purse
inhabitants went berserk! Every crook, villain in the papers for a wife and he made the final we will never see his like again - not on this
and shifty character from all over the suburbs selection himself by choosing the lady who planet anyway.
moved in on Melbourne that week-end, when removed the cloth from around a block of
the business centre was virtually devoid of its cheese by hand, and so avoided any waste! I In 1932, a world-wide craze swept in from the
police squads. reckon Mr. Coles would have made a good U.S. of A. - miniature golf - and it had all of the
Treasurer for a Government; perhaps he may big cities going bonkers. It was simply a golf
All the hoodlums descended on dear old Bourke have refused a "Golden Handshake" - perhaps! course in miniature - sand traps, bunkers,
Street with its big stores, furriers, jewellers, fairways and every spare room above shops,
frock shops and male clothing outlets and At the Bijou, which was essentially a any sort of space which could be used, was
simply went bananas. They smashed windows, vaudeville house, two comedians reigned turned into a course and for sixpence you could
looted fur coats, frocks, suits, jewellery, supreme in the 1920s - Stiffy and Mo. If you become a golf star for a quarter of an hour. For
one shilling you had a half hour to become a
Norman Von Nida or a Babe Didrickson.

Customers were lined up in droves, even in
those rotten days and, like all crazes, it lasted
for a year and that was it, but fun while it lasted
and made some smart operators a few quid.
On St. Patrick's Day prior to World War II, the
late Archbishop Daniel Mannix would preside
in an open touring car while all of Melbourne's
Catholic school children marched past and paid
their respects to the good Doctor, as he then
was. A fact not well known, but worthy of the
telling, is that Dr. Mannix walked from his
home “Raheen” in Studley Park Road, Kew to
St. Patrick's Church daily and walked home of
Riot scenes in Melbourne during the 1923 Victorian Police strike an evening.

6 CINEMARECORD # 100