Page 16 - CR_01_Printer

6. ROYAL OCCASIONS by Denzil Howson

(A Reminiscence of Castlemaine's Theatre Royal)

"She lay there stark naked! Stark naked, I tell you!" Mrs Plummers ample bosom quivered with righteous
disapproval, as she uttered the words. Miss Ada Possell, sitting next to her was aghast. "Not here surely? Not
in this place?" "Oh no! Not here. No not here. Affhough she was almost as brazen here. Right down there. In that
spot just in front of those seats!"Mrs Plummer in full flight, her strident voice cutthrough the surrounding chatter.
She continued. "But, as I say, she lay on the bunk stark naked." She paused aware of the hush that had
descended upon the people around her. It was a moment to relish. Everyone edged forward on their seats. They
sensed there was more to follow, and octogenarian Fred Bluet, at the end of the row of seats , hand cupped to
his ear, strained forward so hard that he broke wind. Mrs Plummer sailed on majestically, apparently oblivious
of Fred's involuntary interjection. "She was on a ship in the Sydney Harbour. She just lay there, challenging the
man to affest her, and lead her off." "And did he?" "No. Of course not. Affhough he was a policeman, the man
had some sense of decency!"

We were in the Dress Circle of Castlemaine's Theatre Royal. The year, 1934. A Saturday night. As usual, on
a Saturday night, the old picture palace was full, and the more "refeened" citizens of the town were occupying
their accustomed Saturday night Dress Circle seats. The show was about to begin. A double bill "Trouble in
Paradise" with Herbert Marshall and Kay Francis, and Warner Oland in "Charlie Chan's Greatest Case". As usual
the Plummers had made a Grand Entrance, Mrs Plummer advancing imperiously down the aisle, followed by
Mr. Plummer timidly bringing up the rear, carrying a pillow for Mrs Plummer's back. ("I've written to the manager
about the seats- even called to see him personally- showed him my back, but he does nothing about it. You'd
think he'd do something wouldn't you. After all, we are his best customers- and the Dress Circle. Be a different
thing if it were just the stalls!"

Once the Plummers were seated in their accustomed seats, those nearby new they were in store for a virtuoso
performance, a double-forte account of the latest scandal ot the latest gossip, and in a town the size of
Castlemaine there was always plenty of both. But the story of the naked lady was the exception to the rule. It
was not recent gossip- or even local. It was prompted by a chance remark that somebody had made within Mrs
Plummer's hearing that the old Theatre Royal had seen some famous performers on it's stage in the last century.
People like the famous Lola Montez. For it was Lola Montez, and her companion, a young Mr. Folland, who were
trying to escape the bailiffs in Sydney. They had actually boarded the ship in the harbour, and thought they were
safe until the constabulary had arrived. By simply removing all her clothes and lying naked on the bunk, Lola
had convinced the abashed officer that it would be better to leave her be, rather than escort her from the ship
in that condition.

But what has all this to do with Castlemaine's Theatre Royal in 1934? In a moment we'll tell you.